"Already I'm So Lonesome..."

"My bags are packed, I'm ready to go.
I'm standing here outside your door,
I hate to wake you up to say goodbye...

The dawn is breaking, its early morn,
the taxi's waiting, blowing his horn,
already I'm so lonesome I could die...

So kiss me and smile for me,
tell me that you'll wait for me,
hold me like you'll never let me go.

Cause I'm leavin' on a jet plane...

________________

I'm continually surprised by the people stong enough to break through the walls I've so carefully erected around my heart. Four weeks ago, I didn't know a single one of these people, but only 28 days later, I have struggled to maintain my precious composure as I say goodbye after goodbye. Four girls in particular, I can't imagine not seeing every day.

I've seen them at their worst and their best; we laughed often, complained often, stuck to each other like glue from the minutes we met in the airport four weeks ago. And now we've all tried to hold the tears back as we hug goodbye, uncertain of the next time we should meet. I've watched taxi's drive away, and later today, I will have to watch Kasey walk away to her gate as I part with her for mine. It's harder than I thought it would be to say goodbye to these new friends whom I've known for so short a time.

I've never doubted that God wanted me here this summer, though I've often wondered why, when there were so many other things I could be doing, so many events I missed in the States for this trip. But right now, sitting on my bed in Dublin, a city that was feeling like home, my housemate Kasey asleep on the "Conversation Bed", at 6 am with the birds singing and the sun struggling to break it through the blinds we closed... I know. It was not only for the experience of Dublin and the culture, but to meet these people, make these friends and learn a lesson in endurance and farewells. Also, to teach me even more how much I have back home in America to miss and love and cherish.

I think I will make it through the day without crying. I can only hope to fall asleep on my trans-Atlantic so my mind doesn't have the chance to run wild like it is now! And I know that I'll be okay, that I can say goodbye with a smile, knowing that we will be in contact and knowing that we will be working on a reunion. And, I can be okay, ready, even excited to go, knowing that my parents and brother, friends and family, will be waiting with open arms.

Thank God for new friends, lessons learned, and home on the horizon.