Summer

I'm so much less certain about this summer than I was when entering summer 2007. Last summer, the most intense I've had thus far--I knew I was in the right place, where God wanted me, and I made sacrifices to be there. I came out of that summer rebuilt, spiritually replete after months of physical and emotional exhaustion, but those were some of the best days I ever saw.

Some of the Best Days

I look a tad devilish in that praise band picture. We need some red-eye reduction!


Anyway, point being, my time at camp this summer was thrilling. I can never forget the friends I made, the way God broke me and pieced me back together, the way kids looked at me as if I held all the answers. I saw miracles this summer. I met friends I never want to lose. I was so close to God, that coming away from this place was a painful process.


This summer, what I am doing for God?? It was clear, so definitively stated last summer. Work hard all day long, play with kids, teach kids, love on kids and and introduce them to Christ. Be a role model, support the rest of the staff. It was so clear cut.


What am I doing for God this summer? I don't know. In May, I'm hoping a plane to study in Ireland, a dream I've had since childhood. When I return, I'll be home for a while, then I'll head back to school for a summer class. My youth minister asked me to lead the youth over the summer, but because of school, I coudn't committ. I know God has put me in school for a reason, but it's so much harder to see the heavenly benefit of studying abroad or taking classes in Charleston. Granted, I want to do both of these things, but I also don't want to be spiritually idle.


The only way I can justify it is like this: last summer was for others-- I invested in kids as a camp counselor, giving to them emotionally, physically, spritually, and despite the euphoria of seeing one of them smile at me or tear up as they said goodbye or best of all, come to Jesus for the first time... I came out of that summer spiritually drained. I gave so much and kept little for myself.


This summer, especially while overseas, I'm likely to spend a good amount of time on my own, as four weeks is probably not long enough to make lasting friendships. At home, I may end up spending some time with the youth group at my church, and when I head back to school, only a handful of my friends will be in town.


Perhaps God desires me to rest, be still, and take him in. Last summer I gave to others, this summer, I have the opportunity to spend time walking side-by-side with Christ, slowly, taking in all He has to give at a slower pace, with time to catch my breath.


But no one's ruling out the chance that I'll jump right back into the delightful chaos of camp next summer. :-)