You know the old saying, "You don't know what you have until it's gone?" and all its variants in song and poetry, etc? I'm not so sure that I believe that entirely. My experience lately has been you don't know what you have until you lose it THEN get it back again!
I can think of so many examples. Just a few moments ago, I was having a video chat with a bunch of staffers from camp, and it just hit me in that moment how much I loved them and missed them and longed to work at camp again. I don't go through my days thinking of how much I miss everyone-- I work, I study, I keep living. But when I see them again on my screen, hear their voices, visit them and feel the excitement of life on a Christian camp, I really realize what I have, not because I've lost it, but because I've found it again.
The same with a good friend of mine who studied in France for a semester. I went months and months without seeing or hearing from her. Of course I missed her, but I wasn't crippled by it and it didn't consume me, but the past two days of being with her, I've realized just how much I value her friendship and how much I was really missing when she was gone.
The same goes, I think, for the joy of our salvation in Christ. We can stray from the straight and narrow, or grow apathetic and distant from God, and while it's happening, sure we realize what's going on, we absently miss what we had with Jesus, but it isn't until we collapse at the foot of the Cross, utterly convicted and despairing and feel His always loving presence embrace us again that we truly realize what we've been missing yet had along.
Does this make me defective because I ache for you and Ireland everyday? I think it's an age thing. I don't bounce back as easily as when I was 20 :( Miss you, love you and can't wait when the day comes and we get to see each other again. Viva H2 forever!
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