I wrote this once already, and the post didn't go through. How annoying. Trying again...
It is a perfect day to muse. Saturday. Rainy. Dreary. Lazy.
So Long, LiveJournal
I used to write on LiveJournal. That little corner of cyberspace put up with my musings, complaints, and questions for several years, but it's time to start fresh. Some of those days, I hope to stay in the past. The other ones will live in my memory. So farewell, LiveJournal.
The Worst?
Last weekend, I made a few new friends. They asked me where I was from, what I did for fun, etc, but one guy wasn't satisfied with these questions. He wanted a different sense of my character. So, he asked a different question.
What's the worst thing you've ever done?
I was stunned for a moment, first by the intimacy of the question, and then by my trouble in giving an answer. I've done plenty of things that I consider bad, but not "the worst" that he was looking for.
I don't drink, smoke, or do drugs. I made a promise to my future husband that so far, I've kept. I do my best never to break the law but always please my parents.
My new friends were unsure of what to think of me. They started to poke fun at me, joked that I probably had a whole section of Heaven reserved for me. I felt an anger I didn't understand begin to form. I was strangely defensive.
I speed all the time, I insisted. I got an unusual ear piercing after my father expressly told me not to. To me, these sins were big indeed.
They laughed, and everyone else at the table answered the question with much more colorful answers. I was still angry, oddly offended, strangely disappointed in my chaste answer to his question.
Should I not have been proud? Grateful for the God's help in my struggle to avoid certain sins?
I wasn't.
Let's get one thing straight. I'm sinful.
Maybe I don't fill my body with nicotine or alcohol or drugs. But I've filled my mind with filth. I've never killed another human, but I've killed many reputations with gossip, and murdered many with hatred. I've kept my body pure, but I've slept with many men in my heart, consumed by lust. I can lie without blinking, cheat without wincing, curse without blushing.
Don't ever tell me I haven't sinned. Don't cheapen my redemption or Redeemer. I have sinned much and been forgiven much. Thank God.
Changing Gears...
Each day, Dublin and I get closer. I can almost sense the Atlantic shrinking. I can't wait to be there.
Hey, it's me, Sarah! Yay for some way to see how you're life is going. Er...besides aim, haha, though often you're busy there. Anyways.
ReplyDeleteI also wouldn't really have a real shocking sin to share if asked what the worst thing I ever did was. I thought on this for several minutes, and came up empty until just this moment, but that particular mistake was done when I was young and pressured into to. I'm chaste, clean of body, and try to avoid even gossiping, lying or cheating, but I have my faults. I also have dreamed of men and didn't even think of it as a bad thing. I have talked back to my parents and gotten into fights with my brothers. Nobody is perfect, and your new friends seeemed more jaded because of their own, more "colorful" sins. A sin is still a sin--it depends on how much guilt one lays upon themselves, I guess. I mean, I'm agnostic mostly now, but I still try to live a good life and treat others as I would like to be treated. Hmmm. I lost my train of thought. Basically, I think I have also felt defensive when people try to praise me too much for being a nice person, because I'm not perfect and don't want to be mocked for trying to be nice.