When I started this blog two years ago, I agonized for hours on what to name it. “Walls for the Wind” is the perfect name for it, for so many reasons. Not simply because it’s a lyric from an Irish blessing (though that adds to the appropriateness, certainly) but because that lyric describes me and what I’m doing here very well.
If you now me well enough, you’ll know that I’d much rather you didn’t people didn’t seem me vulnerable or emotional. In fact, if you read this, odds are in my favor that you’ve never seen me shed a tear. Not because I don’t feel, but because I don’t show it. Not normally. It’s a defense mechanism; I’m working on it, in any case. Besides, it’s for your own good, too! Once you get past that key layer in my defenses, it’s tough to get me to shut up. ;-)
“Walls for the wind” works for other reasons, too. In the physical sense, we want walls to keep the wind out—it’s a nice, alliterative term for shelter, safety. I do take refuge in words.
Here’s what I wrote in my first entry on this blog; even here I wasn’t overt about my purpose in writing.
“I used to write on LiveJournal. That little corner of cyberspace put up with my musings, complaints, and questions for several years, but it's time to start fresh. Some of those days, I hope to stay in the past. The other ones will live in my memory. So farewell, LiveJournal.”
I did delete that old LJ; most of it was just whining that embarrassed me. In my mind, “starting fresh” as I said, meant writing deliberately, about truths, about things that matter to more than just me. In fact, I started the blog as a New Year’s resolution going into 2008. To write more and about truth—specifically, I resolved to use blogging as a way to deepen my understanding of the Bible and strengthen my relationship with Christ. That’s why many of my entries are spiritual in focus; it’s to keep myself focused. And hopefully, draw your own interest in.
In the final sense, “walls for the wind” is a title that reflects that purpose. The writers of the New Testament often compared the Holy Spirit to wind, or breath.
“The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit.” John 3:8
Even the strongest of believers is guilty of building walls to hold the Spirit out. We don’t want to concede our plans for the will of God; we think we can live our lives better on our own terms, do we not? My words on this corner of Cyberspace make up my expressions of these walls of my own paltry understanding.
More than anything, I write to break down walls, not to build them. Break down my own emotional walls so I can be closer to others, put out of my comfort zone, and to break down my “walls for the wind” so I can let the Spirit lead me.
Hopefully, now, some of my musings make more sense to you. They do to me. And now, finally, I wish you and yours a very Happy New Year.
-Hillary
